Memories
by Lady Aria
Summary: My take on the Tsuzuki/Tatsumi partnership. The fic takes place before the arrival of both Hisoka and Watari to the EnMaCho.


Yami no Matsuei fanfiction. My standard disclaimers apply. Excepts used are copyrighted to their   
respective authors.  
  
Memories  
by Lady Aria (bukiminatenshi@lycos.com)  
  
"TSUZUKI!!!!!"  
  
More than half of the Shokan division breathed a sigh that said 'here-we-go-again' while the rest   
pulled out readied earplugs. Tsuzuki Asato, the infamous 'excess baggage' of the Shokan division was in   
trouble yet again. This time, it wasn't just because of the out-of-this-world food bill from the last job he and   
his partner had taken....  
  
"...And that is WHY you will no longer be working with Tanaka!!"  
  
Tsuzuki and his partner, Tanaka, were sent on a simple job: find the lost soul of an old man   
wandering around in the Kyushu area and bring him to Meifu. The old man was easy enough to find - all   
they had to do was follow the leads on a haunting in a small village. The old man agreed easily enough to   
return with them. Unfortunately, on the way back, Tsuzuki had gotten in trouble with one of the local deities   
when he accidentally waded into a holy pool because he saw a pile of oranges beyond it. He found out too   
late that said pile was an offering and was caught biting into his second piece. What resulted was more of a   
kindergarten playground fight between the deity and Tsuzuki. What was more unfortunate was that Tanaka   
tried to stop them and got caught in the crossfire....  
  
"I never thought I'd see the day when a Shinigami would have to stay bed-ridden for a month!   
And, as usual, this is all YOUR FAULT!! BAKA!!!"  
  
Konoe-kacho paused to take in several deep breaths. He'd been screaming at Tsuzuki for a good   
30 minutes already, though he seriously doubted that any of his words sunk deep enough to have a lasting   
impression. By the time he'd regained his composure, the younger man looked like he would burst into tears   
any second.  
  
"De-demo, kacho...."  
  
"I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!"  
  
Tsuzuki cringed. This was not good. He prepared himself for round two, but it never came.  
  
"Shitsureishimasu."  
  
An amusing sight greeted the stranger: Konoe standing on his seat with one foot on his desk and   
his fists in the air looking like an enraged oni while Tsuzuki cowered like a frightened pup in front of the   
desk.  
  
"A-anou...."  
  
"*Ahem*." Konoe cleared his throat as he stepped off the table and sat back down as if nothing   
happened. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tsuzuki heave a sigh of relief and heard the word 'tasukatta'   
along with it.  
  
The man gave a nervous cough as he stepped up to Konoe's desk and bowed, presenting his file.   
"Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Tatsumi Seiichiro desu. Douzo yoroshiku onegaishimasu."  
  
"Ah, Tatsumi-kun," Konoe said as he opened the file. "I've been expecting you." He spied   
Tsuzuki trying to sneak away. "Tsuzuki!" He smiled a bit when he saw him look back and mumble a feeble   
'hai.' "Since you are currently without a partner, I am assigning Tatsumi-kun to replace Tanaka-kun. That   
is, if you don't mind." The last four words were laced with enough implied threat that even Tsuzuki couldn't   
miss it. He saw Tsuzuki heave a defeated sigh and nod. "Good!" He turned to Tatsumi and continued.   
"Well then, Tatsumi-kun, please go with Tsuzuki. He will orient you about the Shokan division and feel free   
to ask him anything you need to know."  
  
***  
  
"...And that's the conference room," Tsuzuki said as he rounded up Tatsumi's tour. "Any   
questions?"  
  
"Why was Konoe-kacho screaming at you?"  
  
Tsuzuki sighed. "I'd rather not talk about that."  
  
"Which would imply that whatever happened was your fault," Tatsumi concluded in a matter-of-  
fact tone.  
  
"I thought you're supposed to be on my side?!" Tsuzuki whined as he and Tatsumi made their way   
to the cafeteria for lunch.  
  
"I'm your partner on the job, that doesn't mean that I have to always take your side," Tatsumi   
explained, smiling. "Besides, I don't know enough of what actually happened to say who was really at   
fault."  
  
"But you said...."   
  
"I said 'would imply.' I never said that you actually were guilty of anything," Tatsumi countered   
as they bought their food and looked for a table.  
  
"You'd make an annoyingly good lawyer, you know that?" Tsuzuki grumbled as they sat down to   
eat.  
  
"Whoever said I wasn't."  
  
"You mean you were?"  
  
"I'm not confirming or denying anything."  
  
"You're starting to get really annoying," Tsuzuki said, glaring over his miso soup at Tatsumi who   
had a most patronizing smile.  
  
"I know I could be, maybe that's why Konoe-kacho assigned us together. We'd be too busy   
annoying each other to get into trouble." He picked up his plate of cake and handed it to Tsuzuki. "Peace   
offering?"  
  
"A-RI-GA-TOU!!!" Tsuzuki dived into his food like a starved puppy, slowing down only when he   
got to his dessert. If anything, it was to make it as enjoyable as long as possible. A chime sounded from   
outside signaling the end of lunch break.  
  
"Mattaku yo." Tsuzuki looked mournfully at the pile of folders on his desk, which hadn't been   
present when he'd left to give Tatsumi a tour.  
  
"They're just in, Tsuzuki," Terazuma said as he walked by, absently read through a file leaving a   
trail of smoke from his cigarette. "Kacho wants them all done in the next two days."  
  
Tsuzuki leafed through the topmost file, his eyes narrowing. "Chotto. Some of these files date   
back to last week. Which means that they should've been on my desk sooner."  
  
"Oh, did I forget to mention that someone mistakenly put them on my desk? Gomen, ne."   
Terazuma's eyes had a mocking glint in them. "Sempai."  
  
"Kisama...," Tsuzuki started to advance when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.  
  
Tatsumi.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san, he said we have two days to finish all this," he said looking at the files one by one.   
"We could do it if we start right now and just follow up the paper work, maybe we could ask one of the   
Gushoosin at the library to type the report for us."  
  
"Demo, Tatsumi, those two aren't even fond of me!"  
  
"Then I'll do the asking, now come on!" He cast a glare at Terazuma who had just sat down at his   
desk with a cup of coffee. "Don't think I'll be forgetting this anytime soon."  
  
"Gambare," Terazuma said, laughing into his cup. "You'll need to."  
  
Tatsumi gave a vague flick of his hand as he dragged Tsuzuki out the door. Terazuma's shriek   
made the pair turn to see what had happened and Tsuzuki was barely able to stifle a snicker.  
  
He'd spilled his coffee right on his shirt.  
  
"Talk about instant karma," Tsuzuki said as they walked out. "You'd think someone higher up was   
listening in on us." A frightened look crossed Tsuzuki's face as he whispered, "ne, do you think they could   
be?"  
  
"I doubt it," Tatsumi said as they walked out of the building. "They've got enough trouble dealing   
with the living to bother with us. If they were, why assign someone like Konoe-kacho to supervise us at   
all?"  
  
Tsuzuki looked thoughtful.  
  
Tatsumi cast a sidelong glance at the patch of shadow he'd commanded and smiled. "Now let's   
see... let's start with the oldest filed report....."  
  
***  
  
Life at the Shokan division pretty much got set into a routine after that. Tsuzuki and Tatsumi   
would have good-natured petty squabbles that were more amusing to hear than annoying. Terazuma had   
more small 'accidents.' The most recent one occurred that morning when he came to the office soaked as a   
result of being sprayed with water when the sprinkler system outside turned on for no apparent reason.   
Somehow, that just made him jumpier than he already was after the initial coffee incident.  
  
Konoe sighed contentedly as he looked at their financial report. Tsuzuki's spending while doing   
his missions dropped significantly since Tatsumi became his partner. In a way, Tanaka's hospitalization   
couldn't have picked a better time, Konoe thought, amused. I was going to replace him with Tatsumi   
anyway, when I learned that he tends to me miserly with money.  
  
Even the missions started taking on a pattern....  
  
"Ne, ne, nakanai yo," Tsuzuki said as he patted the shoulder of a little girl. "He's not going to hurt   
you."  
  
"Niichan!!!" The girl wailed, clinging to Tsuzuki. "Ano hito hontou ni kowaii!!!"  
  
Apparently, most people, as well as spirits were either unsettled by or frightened of Tatsumi.  
  
"Mattaku," Tsuzuki muttered as he sat down at his desk. "My ear are still ringing from all that   
wailing that girl did." He glanced at Tatsumi and asked, "why're they so afraid of you anyway?"  
  
Tatsumi answered with a shrug. "Maybe it's because I'm a kageshi."  
  
"Shadow magic?"  
  
"Hai. It could be quite... useful at times." He nodded in Terazuma's general direction.  
  
Tsuzuki laughed, finally getting the joke. "Sankyu, Tatsumi."  
  
"Dou itashimashite, Tsuzuki-san."  
  
But like all good things.....  
  
"Tsuzuki, Tatsumi," Konoe called from his desk.  
  
What'd I do now? Tsuzuki thought in a panic. Konoe-kacho looked too calm.  
  
"I want this done tomorrow," he said, handing them a file. "Granted, I'd've wanted it done sooner,   
but the Earl at Castle of Candles said that it wouldn't be right to take her prematurely." Konoe's eyes took   
on a sorry look as he murmured, "it would've been more merciful if she'd died with her family."  
  
Tsuzuki opened the file and was surprised to find no picture, just a name and the address of an   
orphanage run by nuns in Fukuoka, northern Kyushu. "Ne, kacho, are you sure this girl is still there?"  
  
"I'm sure," he replied. After a pregnant pause, he continued, "because she has nowhere else to   
go." He took in a deep breath. "The both of you put in a good amount of work today. Go home and rest."  
  
Knowing a dismissal, Tsuzuki and Tatsumi left EnMaCho, the former still wondering what Konoe   
meant by death being more merciful.  
  
***  
  
"Are you SURE we're in the right place?" Tsuzuki asked Tatsumi as they entered a gate that   
opened to a lavish garden which in turn lead to a magnificent structure made of worked stone.  
  
"I'm sure," Tatsumi said authoritatively as they made their way to the front door, passing bush   
after bush of flowers in spring bloom.  
  
"It's just that I've never seen an orphanage look so... majestic." The last word echoed eerily as   
they entered the building, prompting Tsuzuki to silence.  
  
"Konnichiwa."  
  
An old nun materialized seemingly from nowhere, startling Tsuzuki. Tatsumi greeted her in turn as   
the older Shinigami got his bearings.  
  
"We're here to see one of your charges," Tatsumi said in a polite yet business-like manner. "Her   
name is Amagai Sayaka."  
  
Surprise showed clearly in the old woman's face. "Are you relatives?"  
  
"No, we're not. We're investigators, actually, and we-"  
  
The woman held up a hand to silence him. "You, sir, I would believe when you said you are not   
related to Sayaka. You friend, however...." She walked over to Tsuzuki and cupped his cheek with a gentle   
hand. "The resemblance is remarkable. You could have been her father or her brother...." Her face was sad.   
"Maybe for once, poor Sayaka...."  
  
"May we see her?" Tsuzuki asked, if but to change the subject.  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
Their steps echoed on the marble floor as they made their way deeper into the building. The other   
nuns moved noiselessly, almost like ghosts, and the chanting that came from one chamber resounded like   
shade whispering through the corridors making Tsuzuki's skin crawl. At last, they stopped outside a carved   
oak door.  
  
"She likes to sit in the atrium during this time," the nun explained as she opened the door and   
looked inside. "She's the only one inside at the moment, so you could talk to her in private."  
  
Tatsumi nodded to Tsuzuki and went to the nun's side. "Actually, my friend would be the one to   
talk to her. Could you tell me more about how she came to be here?"  
  
"Of course," the nun said as Tatsumi steered her away from the door.  
  
Tsuzuki took a deep breath to steady himself. It was strange that they were given so little   
information about this case. Still, it wasn't a big issue considering that they were simply going to bring the   
girl's spirit to Meifu. No big deal, Tsuzuki told himself reassuringly as he opened the door and entered.  
  
It took a while for him to recover from the shock of seeing the room. It wasn't so much an atrium as   
a greenhouse, since two whole walls were made of solid glass. Small glass vents lined the top of the glass   
to provide ventilation and to keep the room from getting too humid. Comfortable chairs and tables were   
scattered about amidst plants, creating cozy nooks. A set of glass double doors led to the outdoor gardens   
and near that was a girl in a wheelchair, her back to Tsuzuki.  
  
Given the size of the wheelchair, Tsuzuki guessed her to be about eight, but no more than ten years   
old. He walked slowly towards her, his steps no longer echoing as they did out in the hall.  
  
"Niichan."  
  
Tsuzuki froze. She would've known that someone had come in, but how did she know that it was a   
man without even turning?  
  
"Niichan wa ningen ja nai desu ne."  
  
Ningen ja nai.  
  
A chill went down his spine as Tsuzuki closed the rest of the distance between them in a series of   
quick steps. With a shaky hand, he lifted her face to see what she looked like. His eyes widened in horror   
as he did.  
  
Now he knew what the old nun meant.  
  
The girl had long, flowing brown hair, the same shade as his. The two of them also shared the   
same basic face shape, although her features were softer than his. Had he been born a girl, he would have   
looked like her. But what truly unnerved and horrified him was that they even shared same eyes.  
  
Or would've, had she not been blind.  
  
***  
  
"Please sit," the nun told Tatsumi as she closed the door to her office. She walked over to a   
sideboard and took from it a tea set and poured two cups for them to drink. Neither of them spoke until the   
nun was settled on her seat behind the table. "You wanted to know how Amagai Sayaka came to this place,   
am I correct?"  
  
"If it will not be a bother, please."  
  
She sighed and took a sip of her tea. "I don't know where to begin, really. She was brought from   
one of the village south of this place about two years ago. One of the villagers had been a Christian and   
had suggested this place, knowing that we would indeed take her in. She'd been such a pitiful sight, most   
of her body covered with bandages, but most of all her head. She looked like a mummy when we first saw   
her."  
  
"Did they tell you what happened to her?"  
  
"The Christian did. Maybe he did it to cleanse himself of the sin or for some other reason I know   
not." She paused and leveled a gaze at Tatsumi. "You never did tell me why you need to know so much   
about her. We are, after all, responsible for what happens to the children under our care."  
  
Tatsumi sighed. He was not fond of people questioning his authority. "It is for a case we are   
handling. We followed a trail that led us here, to that girl. The other details are confidential, but it is   
essential that we find out what happened to her."  
  
"I've never known people in the profession of the law to be as persistent as you."  
  
He smiled. The comment had been a clear compliment. "It's just that we enjoy our work."  
  
"I see." The nun turned to look outside the window behind her. "Sayaka was born into the village   
some eight years ago, the illegitimate child of the most beautiful woman in the village and some unknown   
man. I was told that the woman gave birth at home assisted by the local midwife. The midwife, who was   
also the town healer, foretold an omen about Sayaka saying that ill will surrounds her birth. The mother,   
being something of a modern woman waved off the midwife's warning. As the years passed, Sayaka   
blossomed into this beautiful girl while at the same time, the crops failed albeit slowly. The village became   
ambivalent regarding Sayaka. She was, after all, a sweet child - truly beautiful inside as she was without.   
Until one day, the children started to get sick. One by one, they succumbed to some mysterious illness.   
They remembered what the midwife had said about Sayaka. Know that that village is far from any large city   
and superstition still abounds there. When a child actually died, the villagers took up arms and attacked the   
Amagai household, killing Sayaka's mother, grandfather, and their servants. The family saw the villagers   
coming and had sent Sayaka to escape using a secret passage way that led to the forest, thinking that the   
villagers would simply leave them be if they did not find her there. Needless to say, they found the secret   
passage upon which the body of Sayaka's mother rested and they pursued her. The Christian begged the   
other villagers to spare her. They did, only upon the condition that her sight be taken from her." The   
woman reached inside her habit and pulled a handkerchief out to wipe away her tears. "The Christian said   
that while she had been forced to kneel before the head of the village as he pierced her eyes, she uttered no   
sound. She never cried, never pleaded for mercy. He took her in out of pity and the village started getting   
back on its feet as people from the city reached them bringing with them medicines that saved the children.   
Sayaka uttered not a word since her ordeal. Guilt-stricken, the village agreed to bring her here, and they   
made a generous contribution to this place as payment for her care."  
  
The sound of birds chirping outside was the only thing that broke the silence between them after   
her narration. Tatsumi broke the silence with a question. "You said that she would be spared upon the   
condition that she be blinded. Why so strange a provision?"  
  
"According to the Christian man, the exact words of the head of their village was...."  
  
Tatsumi clutched his cup so tightly it almost broke.  
  
"No human being is born with violet eyes."  
  
Tatsumi looked thoughtful, wondering how Tsuzuki would have taken this bit of information. He   
remembered Tsuzuki looking depressed each time they handled particularly gory cases, but this seemed to   
hit closer to home than the rest.  
  
"That was why I was surprised to see your friend," the nun continued. "He had the same violet   
eyes as Sayaka. Such beautiful eyes. They were like gems set into so perfect a face. It breaks my heart to   
imagine how beautiful Sayaka would've been had the people been more open minded in their beliefs...."  
  
Tatsumi, however, was still lost in thought.  
  
***  
  
"...And that's how I came here."  
  
Tsuzuki had dragged a seat to where Sayaka was and listened as she told him about what had   
happened to her. The feeling of his blood running cold in his veins was not so much a product of anger as   
that of déjà vu. "Demo, Sayaka-chan, aren't you angry or sad about what happened?"  
  
"Iie, Niichan," she said, shaking her head. "It isn't their fault, it isn't mine either. It's just   
something that happened. Sadame. If it can't be helped, you must learn to forgive. I've learned to forgive   
them."  
  
"Sadame...," Tsuzuki repeated. "Do you really believe in destiny?"  
  
"Shiranai," she replied, angling her head in the direction of the glass walls. "Ne, Niichan, if you   
don't mind, could we go outside and sit in the gardens? It should be beautiful this time of year."  
  
Tsuzuki stood and opened the door leading outside. He was grateful to see that there was a ramp   
set up so that people in wheelchairs could be wheeled outside with ease. It was indeed beautiful, with every   
single bush full of blooms and colorful butterflies flitting to and from flower to flower. He found a bench at   
the heart of the garden and gently transferred Sayaka to it, taking his place beside her.  
  
"You feel sad," she told him suddenly.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
She gave a vague shrug. "You just do."  
  
"I feel sad for you, about what happened," Tsuzuki said as he leaned back onto the bench's   
backrest.  
  
"You shouldn't. I don't. Sadame dakara yo." She rested pale hands over his.  
  
"How would you know?" He whispered, trembling.  
  
"Because I was told, a long time ago... when I was born, I think...," Sayaka's voice became a   
whisper as she continued, "there is no happiness for people born with amethyst eyes."  
  
Tsuzuki held her frail body in his arms and cried. For her pain, for his own. Why do people hate   
us so much?  
  
"Nakanaide, Niichan. Daijoubu yo." Her voice was getting weaker. "Ne, Niichan. Tell me what   
this garden looks like. It smells wonderful each time I'm here. It's my favorite place."  
  
"Hai." Tsuzuki placed an arm around her shoulder and held her hand in his. He guided her hand to   
the direction he was pointing to, describing in great detail what he saw, how it looked in the waning   
daylight. He could see a ghost of a smile of her face. When they finished, she leaned on his shoulder.   
Overhead, some stars were already peeking out as the pinks and gold gave way to the dark blue velvet of   
night.  
  
"Watashi wa tsukareta," she whispered.  
  
"Would you like to go in now?"  
  
"Iie. Mou chotto."  
  
In the silence, Tsuzuki could hear the sound of a distant fountain.  
  
"Ne, Niichan?"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Arigatou."  
  
It was a few minutes later when Tsuzuki realized that Sayaka was no longer breathing. She was still   
warm and looking at her, one would think that she was only asleep. He stood up slowly and carefully   
arranged her on the bench. Fireflies, or something like them, winked in the gathering darkness.  
  
Tatsumi, kaeru yo. Tsuzuki called in his mind for his partner as he walked away. It was all he   
could do for her, to leave her in the one place that she loved.  
  
***  
  
Tatsumi sighed when he saw that Tsuzuki wasn't at the office for the fifth day in a row. Granted,   
he hadn't seemed fine when they got back from Fukuoka, but Tsuzuki also didn't look like he wanted to talk   
about it, so he left it alone. He hadn't counted on him being absent for so long.  
  
"Tatsumi, what's with baka Tsuzuki? Things get pretty boring without him to amuse us,"   
Terazuma muttered as he read through the report he'd just finished writing. Since no accidents have   
happened since the two got back, he'd fancied the thought that his bad luck ran run out. Finally.  
  
"He's probably sick," Tatsumi said in an offhand manner, eyeing Terazuma's coffee cup. "It's   
spring. He probably has hay fever and all this rain isn't helping either." He said, gesturing at the window,   
masking his actual intent on moving Terazuma's cup where he could knock it over his work. "Some of the   
people in the other divisions are also calling in sick."  
  
"I'd be surprised if that's his real-KUSO!!!"  
  
Tatsumi smiled inwardly as Terazuma jumped and tried in vain to save the soaked sheets of paper.   
Still, he had made sense. Tatsumi made a mental note to visit Tsuzuki that afternoon.  
  
***  
  
"Gomen kudasai. Tsuzuki-san?" He said, knocking on the door. Tsuzuki's landlady said that she   
hadn't seen him come out of his apartment since he got back five days ago, making Tatsumi think that he   
really could be sick. No one answered. He tried opening the door and the knob turned. Mattaku yo,   
Tsuzuki-san. He stopped even before stepping a single foot inside.  
  
Inside was Tsuzuki, slumped against the wall, looking unblinkingly at the window.  
  
At the rain sliding down the glass.  
  
"Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi said, letting himself in and closing the door behind him. He flicked on the   
light switch and stared. The room was a mess even by Tsuzuki's standards. "Daijoubu desu ka? You   
haven't been coming to work...." He crouched down and started picking things up from the floor.  
  
"Ne, Tatsumi," Tsuzuki murmured, still looking out the window. "Oshiete yo. Why do people hate   
us so much?"  
  
Tatsumi froze. Hate us? "Tsuzuki-san, dare-?"  
  
"Sayaka. Boku mo. Doushite, Tatsumi?" Tears started to well from his eyes, rolling down his   
cheek. "What did we ever do for them to hate us so much?"  
  
Doushite, Tatsumi?  
  
The voice in his head wasn't Tsuzuki's.  
  
Okaasan?  
  
He could hear her weeping silently.  
  
So was Tsuzuki.  
  
Silently, Tatsumi helped him to change into clean clothes and put him to bed. Tsuzuki didn't seem   
aware of what was happening, not even when Tatsumi left the room. He didn't want to be there, not when it   
hurt him just to look at him.  
  
***  
  
"Kacho, could you tell me how Tsuzuki died?"  
  
Konoe looked up from the report he was reading, casting a sidelong glance at the clock on the wall.   
It was well past quitting time. "Why?"  
  
"It's just that...." For once, Tatsumi at a loss.  
  
"In a way, he killed himself." Konoe replied.  
  
"Jisatsu?" Tatsumi looked doubtful.  
  
"It isn't really clear," Konoe said, giving up on reading the report. "Then again, Tsuzuki faced   
pretty much the same the Amagai Sayaka did, only he wasn't blinded." In a much softer tone, he added,   
"though it might have been better if his mind was spared by the loss of one of his senses."  
  
"You mean he's crazy?"  
  
"Yes and no."  
  
"Kacho, can't you give me an answer that isn't conditional?"  
  
"Not on Tsuzuki." Konoe replied as he stood and started to pace. "He is very complex although   
often it doesn't seem that way. At times, he acts like a child, but there are times when he takes onto himself   
the pain of others until it becomes his own. Maybe it's because of what happened in his childhood and the   
things he was accused of, maybe it's because he simply cares too much."  
  
"Why does he do it? Why does he make himself a martyr for other people?"  
  
"For that, I have a precise answer." Konoe turned to face him. "It's because that's what makes   
him Tsuzuki."  
  
The two men were silent, each pondering the words of the other. After a while, it was Tatsumi who   
spoke.  
  
"I can't work with him anymore," Tatsumi said.  
  
"Somehow, I knew you were going to say that," Konoe sighed. "Don't worry, you're not the first   
to quit. I don't blame you either. However, what do you plan to say to Tsuzuki when he asks?"  
  
"I think he's being an idiot for doing this, and I hate working with idiots." With that, he stood and   
left.  
  
***  
  
A few days later, in a hallway in EnMaCho...  
  
"E...? Tatsumi... ima... nante...?"  
  
"Sumimasen, Tsuzuki-san. I'm not going with you on this case."  
  
"Ah... unn... iin da. It's an easy one, anyway." Tsuzuki looked almost forlorn. "Well, next time,   
then...."  
  
Tatsumi shook his head. "Not next time, nor the one after that, or after that."  
  
Tsuzuki dropped his gaze to the floor. "I see...."  
  
"Tsuzuki-san...."  
  
Tsuzuki looked up, forcing a smile on his face. "Iin da! Mou wakattakara. I'm fine. I'm used to it...   
this kind of thing."  
  
Usotsuki, Tatsumi thought. If that's so then why....  
  
"Gomen ne, Tatsumi. For any trouble...." Tsuzuki turned away. "Arigatou...."  
  
Why are you making such a sad face?  
  
"Tsuzuki-sa...." Tatsumi tried to grab his hand, but pulled back at the last minute.  
  
It was over.  
  
I abandoned him.  
  
***  
  
Years later, at the Earl of Castle of Candles's tea party....  
  
"Separated?!" The look of utter shock was on Hisoka's face.  
  
"Those two used to be partners, didn't you know?" Watari said, idling resting his face on his hand,   
his elbow on the table.  
  
Tatsumi crossed his arms over his chest. "I was Tsuzuki's third partner, but then we quickly   
separated."  
  
"Orders from above?" Hisoka wanted to know.  
  
"No...." Tatsumi began.  
  
"Tatsumi said he wanted to separate." Tsuzuki supplied glumly.  
  
"I dumped him," Tatsumi said frankly. "He and I didn't match."  
  
Tsuzuki and the others looked thunderstruck at the blunt statement.  
  
"O...oi, Tatsumi..." Watari started.  
  
"...You really do hate me..." Tsuzuki muttered.  
  
"Haven't I said before that I don't like idiots?" Tatsumi pointed out. "If you cannot understand   
even that, then you most certainly are an idiot."  
  
"Baka...." Tsuzuki said, a dark cloud coming over him.  
  
"That's enough, I hate you, Tatsumi!! You're inhuman~~~~!!!" With that, Tsuzuki ran.  
  
"Ah! Wait, Tsuzuki!" The Earl shouted. "Such and unmanagable child.... I'll go look for him."  
  
"He'll come back when he's hungry," Tatsumi said as he casually sipped tea.  
  
Hisoka and Watari could only stare.  
  
***  
  
Later that day, at one of the hallways in Castle of Candles...  
  
"Anou... Tatsumi-san?" Hisoka began.  
  
"Nandesu? Kurosaki-kun. The study is just a little farther."  
  
"-At the tea party, you said that you dumped Tsuzuki..." Hisoka was walking several feet behind   
Tatsumi. "Why did you make up such a lie?" His face set, he continued, "I'm sorry for meddling, but..."   
The emotions at that time... it wasn't hatred or dislike... but deeper-...  
  
Tatsumi looked back at Hisoka, his eyes cold. "Are you interested in that? My and Tsuzuki's   
relationship-"  
  
That look obviously scared Hisoka. "No... it's nothing like that..."  
  
"That person... reminds me of my mother."  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"My mother was from a kuge lineage, a proper young lady." Tatsumi recalled as they continued   
walking. "Perhaps some insanity touched her mind that led her to eloping with my father. Then, I and my   
younger sister were born. My mother, raised as a proper young lady, was an unskilled person who couldn't   
even do housework. She was someone with the heart of a child. I protected my mother...."  
  
"You are from kuge descent?" Hisoka looked puzzled. I didn't know that at all...  
  
"But still I-," Tatsumi continued, "could only cause her to cry. The only mother I can now   
remember... always had a sorrowful face-... Tsuzuki-san does have a slightly feminine face, but they do not   
look at all alike. Eye color... voice, manners, they're all different from my mother's. But somehow, they are   
alike. Somewhere..." He remembers Tsuzuki from that time and sighed. "At that time, Tsuzuki was still   
insecure. After an assignment, all he could do was sink into a depression crying." Him always forcing   
himself to show a smile. Tatsumi's voice began to crack. "I couldn't do anything for him... though I was   
that close...!" He brought his hand to his face. That eventually became tied to my mother's memory- that   
was when my sense of guilt began to strongly rock me.  
  
My mother I killed.  
  
"Tatsumi-sa...."  
  
"That's... that's right... I didn't dump him...! It wasn't that I no longer wanted to be his partner...!!"   
He felt Hisoka's hand on his arm. "That truth is I... in my mind... -couldn't stand it. Being by his side...."   
It was like I was becoming strange... Like I was falling apart... That's why I ran away. Far away-.   
Tatsumi looked up. "-Since then, a number of people have become his partner. But this is certainly the   
end." He looked at Hisoka, a wistful smile on his face. "The one that can be his partner..." I from far   
away... "...until now... and from now on... is only you, Kurosaki-kun." You right next to him... "Douka   
yoroshiku onegaishimasu ne ano hito o..." Because I no longer have the qualification... "Please support   
him-"   
  
Hisoka turned away, thoughtful. "Even though that idiot can be thick-skulled, from time to time,   
he's more perceptive about people's feelings that I am." He looked back at Tatsumi, expression sure. "So,   
he'll surely understand. You're true thoughts...."  
  
No matter how far apart we are, I will think of you. Tatsumi was shocked at Hisoka's words.   
"Thank you," he said, bringing a hand up to put his glasses upward. You don't have to notice, it's alright   
if you misunderstand. But let me continue watching over you.  
  
Please....  
  
********** Owari **********  
  
Glossary:  
1. Shokan division - summoning division  
2. Meifu - the land of the dead  
3. Baka - idiot  
4. Kacho - division chief  
5. Shitsureishimasu - literally, "excuse my rudeness for interrupting"  
6. Oni - demon  
7. Anou - er...  
8. Tasukatta - saved  
9. Hajimemashite. Watashi wa [insert name here] desu. Douzo yoroshiku onegaishimasu - literally, "this   
is my first time to meet you. I am [insert name here]. Please extend to me your courtesy." Traditional   
Japanese introduction  
10. -kun - suffix added to a name, usually added to either boys' names or subordinates  
11. Hai - yes  
12. Arigatou - thank you  
13. Mattaku (yo) - good grief  
14. Chotto - wait  
15. Gomen - sorry  
16. Ne - hey  
17. Sempai - a title reserved for people who are more senior that you are, usually in school or at work  
18. Kisama - literally, "you [insert unflattering word]". Sorry, don't really know how it translates, just know   
what it is. ^^"  
19. Gushoosin - the bird-creatures that run the library at the EnMaCho  
20. EnMaCho - the offices where the Shokan division belongs to  
21. Demo - but  
22. Gambare - literally, "do a good job". Japanese equivalent to good luck  
23. Nakanai (yo) - don't cry  
24. Niichan - older brother, what Japanese call older boys, even those unrelated to them, similar principles   
with the 'obasan' (auntie) and 'ojisan' (uncle)  
25. Ano hito honto ni kowaii - that person's really scary  
26. Kageshi - shadow user  
27. Sankyu - phonetic equivalent of 'thank you'  
28. Dou itashimashite - you're welcome  
29. Konnichiwa - good afternoon / good day  
30. Shinigami - god of death, the title of those who work in the Shokan division  
31. Niichan wa ningen ja nai desu ne - literally, "sir, you aren't human, are you."  
32. -chan - suffix usually attached to girl's names  
33. Iie - no  
34. Sadame - destiny  
35. Shiranai - I don't know  
36. -dakara - because  
37. Daijoubu - it's alright  
38. Watashi wa tsukareta - I'm tired  
39. Mou chotto - Just a while longer  
40. Nani / nandesu - what  
41. Kaeru - go home / return  
42. Gomen kudasai - is anyone in  
43. Oshiete (yo) - tell me / inform me  
44. Dare - who  
45. Boku mo - even me  
46. Doushite - why  
47. Okaasan - mother  
48. Jisatsu - suicide  
49. Ima nante - what, just now  
50. Sumimasen - sorry  
51. Unn... iin da - yeah, it's okay  
52. Mou wakattakara - I understand  
53. Usotsuki - liar  
54. Oi - hey  
55. Kuge - an aristocratic lineage that traces itself back to originate from one of Japan's deities  
56. Douka yoroshiku onegaishimasu ne ano hito o... - please take care of that person. Sorry, there is no   
way to translate this line perfectly. ^^"  
  
Note: Yes, the last three scenes were taken directly from volume 5 of Yami no Matsuei, with some   
paraphrasing on my part. Still, it was necessary to make the story complete. Ne, minna, what do you think?   
Send me an e-mail. C&C are always welcome. It's just that I've been dying to write this fic! I'd actually   
started it on December 24, 2001... at least that's what Microsoft Word says. Still, I think that it was worth all   
the mulling I had to do.  
  
original (c) February 2003 by Lady Aria 


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